The way we talk with ourselves and the pattern after which we build our inner speech shows our vision about reality. What we believe and what we use to say about us brings us closer to success or, on the contrary, holds us down. In communication, language is the mirror of our inner behavior, where the habit and the preference of using certain words, bring to others attention how we plan to act or position ourselves.
Even if we try to hide our emotions, the words that we use in our speech reveal our true feelings. Let’s take the example of the phrase “I must”. If we refer to things that doesn’t offer us any pleasure, this “I must” seems to be isolated. As a common rule, through this categorical phrase, we impose to ourselves an action that makes us feel uncomfortable, but it must be done. Usually, when we do things just because we have to do them, we tend to act mechanically, without getting personally involved. Thus, people who frequently use this “must” in their daily speech, seems to be rigid and tense. Do you agree on this?
The solution for “I must” would be “I want”. When you say “I want to do something”, you show a sincere intention, but when you say “I must do something”, you transmit a constraint. Here is the difference of these two – imposing and intention! The same is for phrases “I can” and “I want” – both have the same meaning, but different feeling.
When we are aware of our own speech, we can identify what keeps us in place and what is missing in order to evolve step by step in our personal and professional development. But, to be able to make a change in our inner speech, first we have to realise what are the words blocking our evolution.
That’s the reason why you should choose what is good for you, not only what is simple or easy. Pay attention to the way you express yourself. Sometimes words can transmit things completely opposite to what you had in mind. Choose positive communication aimed towards results and solutions. Give up on negations, denials and unjustified pressure. These will systematically burn your inner resources and can make you feel in doubt.
Choose to do things because you want to, not because you have to!
Article author: Adrian Mazilu – trade.Berry founding member